Oh Dear :')

Alhamdulillah. 

Despite of what happened last semester, despite of the heart breaks and breakdowns, well, I didn't suck. I almost gave up, I was thinking about starting over and orchestrating my life all over again. But I chose to stay, to forge ahead, embracing the chances of being deeply hurt again or to prosper again. 

I am never going to look back again. Last semester, was my downfall and I refuse to dwell upon it. Enough is enough, because this time, will be my last chance. 2014, here I come. 

Sweet Serial Killer

If I lay really quiet, I know that what I do isn't right,
I can't stop what I love to do.
So I murder love in the night,
Watching them fall one by one they fight,
Do you think you'll love me too ?

Baby,
I'm a sociopath, sweet serial killer.
On the warpath,
'Cause I love you just a little too much.
I love you just A little too much....

Langkawi 2014

My trip to Langkawi a few days ago changed something inside of me. It triggered this other side of me that I never knew it existed, never realized its presence. I never thought I would be at peace amidst trees and the hills, while feeling so insignificant whilst standing in front of the vast blue sea along with shades of green. It's like witnessing a painting, carefully rendered by a meticulous painter. While the painting's most likely based on an imagination and surreal, the sea is real, it is there.

I miss the clear blue sea, the breeze, the soft white sand and the absence of pressure. It was a perfect escapade. I miss the nightlife, the colourful lights, the cheap souvenirs and mostly, I miss the ambiance of Langkawi.

Bibliophile

2014

Lemme tell you how my 2013 went by.

My 2013 started when I was in my second semester of my second year. As I have mentioned before, it was the most physically challenging semester so far. We had submissions every single week, site visits and presentations, drawings and videos, models and A0-size papers. But it was, by far, the most exciting semester. I started to mingle around, got to know more people, made friends, I talked with different people everyday, I had crushes on boys, and I was, well, less ashamed to be around people. I was spending more days in the studio, I realized how easy things would be if you're surrounded by your friends and loved ones, and I was tutored by the best lecturers. 

Then came the short semester. Again, I had fun. Dealing with friends from different departments was kinda headache. Working as a team wasn't so bad though some members seemed to vanish most of the time. Our office was one of the nicest with purple, gray and turquoise sheets everywhere. We had our moments where we fought, where we disagreed in most matters, where most of my ideas were rejected because it was too "ambitious". Thank you very much PM. I was given a chance to be the APM. My worst moment was when I had not sleep for more than 40 hours to complete the project and my proudest moment when we, Vertika Consultant was one of the two groups to obtain an A for this semester. We did it guys. People thought we couldn't do it and we prove them wrong. Dead wrong. 

So, the final year. The first semester, honestly, this semester was my downfall. I was miserable for the whole semester because I was completely uninspired and uninventive. I used to have ideas swamping in my head but this time, I blanked out. Perhaps it had to do with the typology that we were given. I dreaded our studio days. Still, I had to pull myself together if I wanted to end it nicely. In the end, it wasn't what I was expecting but I was too exhausted to give a damn. But I wasn't going to give up. Suddenly, a sudden urge to fight, to design again, to prove that I'm still on the track emerged. I actually couldn't wait for the following semester. 

I traveled a lot this year. I went to Melaka, I went to Kelantan and to Cameron Highlands. I drove here and there,beyond far form what I thought I could go. And discovered various of restaurants or cafes and let me said it out loud, I love food. 

2013 was an emotional year for me. I can't remember how many tears have I shed or how many times my stomach hurt from laughing.Whatever did happen, was a preparation and experience to forge ahead for the upcoming next years. I'm packing my bags, older and wiser, to move on to 2014.

My sole plan for this 2014; start reading Sir Arthur Canon Doyle's Sherlock Holmes.