This is it isn't it?

It doesn't feel like an end. I actually have completed my Bsc. in Architectural Studies and shall be resuming my B. Architecture next week. 3 years of sleepless nights, hasn't come to a conclusion yet. Well, haha. I used to be extremely exhilarated when I found out I shall further my study to the next level. But as the days are progressing to 5 September, I'm starting to wonder if this is the right choice. I'm having my own doubts. Is this what I really wanted? Am I going to put myself through the harsh environment again for the next 2 years? Am I ready?

Don't get me wrong. I love designing buildings and taking control of my own project but perhaps I should take a break for a while and run out there to see how this world actually works. 

The older you are, more tough decisions you're going to make. How I miss the olden days when everything was much simpler and uncomplicated. Sigh.

Para Ti

6 years ago, she asked me;

"Do you think I should accept this offer?"

 I took a long deep breath, fixed my eyes upon her and replied;

"If it's up to me, I do not want you to accept the offer. I want you to stay with me, here. I refuse to let you leave but this matter is about your life, your future. Think wisely. If you think this is the best way, then go ahead with it. Just so you know, I wished you didn't get the offer because best friends should remain together forever. But any decision you're gonna make, I'll always be there." She nodded and looked away.

A week later, she's gone. A part of me melted. I lost a best friend, a sister and a confidante. Days ahead were much agonizing as the seat beside me was left vacant and loneliness often found its way through my heart. I didn't had a large circle of friends. Why should I when I had her as my friend?

I met her several years later. But I still lost her because she was not the same person who I used to be with. She's here but she's not here. I lost her again. Apparently, she's just somebody that I used to know.

Dear friend, happy birthday. Perhaps one day we will be what we used to be. Perhaps one day, we will sit together again and sing along to our favorite songs.