31

Who'd knew some tragedies would befall unto my life.

Who knew I'd lose one of my precious cats.

Who knew I'd watch the downfall of what was once a big shot.

Who knew I'd finally moving on after a 5-year of service.

Who knew I'd be a proud homeowner.

And who knew I'd finally meet someone that I truly fear of losing ♥️

Hi how are you?

I wonder what ever happened to all the people I met briefly in my live. I wonder why were our fates intertwined, why were you there. All the characters that were introduced sometimes in my life, how are you?

That girl I met in a hospital when I was a little girl. We met in a playroom, the only room where we could find refuge from the intimidating doctors and sharp scalpels. She had this thick Sabahan accent but she looked absolutely oriental. She had an older brother, whom sometimes would come and spent times with us. I couldn't recall her name and why she was there in a hospital but all I knew was she was getting better. How are you really? I really do hope you are feeling fine today.

That guy I had a small chat with during driving lessons. We talked for a while, changing a few details of our lives. He was wearing glasses, slightly taller and heavier than me. We actually met again at a convention, and the last thing I knew about him, he succeeded in getting 10As in SPM. And I thought I saw him a few years ago from a far. How's life treating you? I hope you are having a good life. 

That bully who always found faults in me. How are you? Are you still feeling bitter towards life? What did I ever do to you that made you hated me so freaking much? I was just a new kid from a foreign land. Still, how are you? Have you learned your lesson yet?

My good Canadian friend, the only friend I had when I was 7. Of all the kids, you chose to be my friend, you chose to spend recesses with me, you even invited me to meet your family. Me, that peculiar quiet girl, who couldn't speak English very well. Where are you now? If I ever meet you again, I promise to never let you go again. 

That dashing guy wearing a brilliant purple baju melayu who attended my open house months ago. Are you like my jodoh? Lol.

And to my little black cat, the one that was born right in front of my eyes, the one that used to lick my face, the one who liked fancy things, and the first of my cats to be buried. How are you, too? I wish you are happier there and I'll see you again one day. 

And to the others who've ever been in my life, how are you? 

30

 

Hello.

I turned 30 last December. The big 3-0. I'm an adult now, so they say. 

Age had never been my biggest concern. As you start to step into the real world, every progress and milestone starts to become a measure for 'success'. How at some certain age you are supposed to land your first real job, or get married and start a family, or buy your first house. 

And me, how I expected myself to achieve those milestone by the age of 30. I remember getting a panic attack because I realized I haven't even started any of the said milestone. 

But looking back to all these past years, I'd say I've done well enough. Perhaps some of the planned journey didn't pan out as well as I wanted or perhaps the life just navigates a different course and somehow along the way I ended up here. Here is not that bad. Here is just here, where I am grateful to be here. 

To being 30. After years of uncertainty, self-doubt and insecurity, I finally feel more grounded. It feels like the real adventure has started, and I am excited.