Until you have reached the first quarter life, your life is still set on the easy mode. The life when you start to meet new people and making friends, when you learn new knowledge and skill, the life where your journey is embellished with wondrous hopes and dreams, the life where you start to sip the first taste of this real world; that life is practically set on the beginners mode.

Because when it's time to face the real world, reality unravels itself. Well, maybe not you but me.

A childhood friend of mine, was diagnosed with cancer. A friend passed away recently due to a chronic disease. A friend's wife died during childbirth, she was at the same age as me. A cousin was ran down by a van, he was only 6. And a great aunt, passed away peacefully in her sleep. Death is inevitable, inescapable fact of life. But when death is so near to you, when death started to struck people around you, you realize that life is short. Life is too short. 

When we were children, death was once perceived as temporary or a separation. Death only happened to villains and death only happened in movies, plays or books. Because the finality of death was not fully comprehended. As you mature into your life, death inevitably comes.

2K19

If I had to describe 2018 with a song, it's Losing My Religion by R.E.M.. 

I always thought the song meant that the singer was losing his mind or his cool. I could relate to that. It's like certain events lead to one experiences internal turmoils. A battle between the voices in your head. Or simply losing hope, where one will never be the same and won't allow himself to be thrown into blind trust again particularly when it comes to the subject of love. 

2018 was an exciting and a happy year, but it's also the year of losing. I lost a cat, a love, a friend, a family member, and almost my own sanity (biasalah budak research - exaggerating much?). But I gained a lot too. I've made new friends, gained new experiences, new skills and new profound insight of life. But mostly fat.

It's only the 5th day of  2019 but I'm starting to feel a tad edgy. I've some many things to be done, so many plans but apparently I'm still slacking off, pretending nothing matters. Not exactly a brilliant way to commence this new year. Hewhew.

Well, I predict 2019 is a busy year. Let's hoping to a happy year as well. Cheers!