Iris

I once vowed that I'll never do it, ever. I once swore that I shall never have any thoughts about doing it. I once made a pledge that whatever it takes, what ever's gonna happen, I ought not to go for it. It was a rule that I lived by for many years, until recently.

I had doubts. I had thoughts. I was breathless, insecure, and somehow I just couldn't fight the tears. Agitated, I felt. And I had a sleepless night. I thought sleeping would ease how I felt . But when I woke up, it started to plague and I was overwhelmed by the feeling all over again in the middle of the dark. The only sound  in my ear was the sound of my heart, beating and thumping, like horses prance through the silent air.

I needed some reassurance, some guidance. I sought counsel from the wisest lady I've ever known. My mom. My dearest mom. It is better to know than to hope, she said. I was taken aback for a moment. She was right. She was completely right. I had to do it. I had to break the promise.

I once promised that I'll never do it. But promises are meant to be broken.